Yes, you are

“She doesn’t really eat.” “Why aren’t you eating more?” “Guys like (thin) girls who eat.” Such short, innocuously-sounding statements that are actually loaded with judgment not just about one’s lifestyle, personality, and appearance, but also about one’s ability to be a successful Columbia student. These statements are embedded within the idea that one should indulge—live life to the fullest and perhaps even excess—with the appearance of complete self-control. They’re embedded within the idea of showing up to class with a hangover and still getting an A in the class. -Noel Duan

Sometimes I don’t feel like a student at Harvard, but an employee. I am expected to maintain a sense of professionalism with my work, my relations with my professors, and, at times, with my peers. Even if my personal life is falling apart, even if I can’t fall asleep without medication, I am expected to go to class, be brilliant, look good, and appear self-assured. 

Although I’m now at a much better place in life, I can’t help but wonder: why is there such a lack of nurture in college? Does adulthood mean professionalism? 

I need you to not need me because I don’t want to need other people. I’m getting pretty good at this.